Things like crowns had a troublesome effect on clever folks; it was best to leave all the reigning to the kind of people whose eyebrows met in the middle. Three witches gathered on a lonely heath. A king cruelly murdered, his throne usurped by his ambitious cousin. A child heir and the crown of the kingdom, both missing… Witches don’t have these kind of dynastic problems themselves – in fact, they don’t have leaders. Granny Weatherwax was the most highly-regarded of the leaders they didn’t have. But even she found that meddling in royal politics was a lot more complicated than certain playwrights would have you believe, particularly when the blood on your hands just won’t wash off and you’re facing a future with knives in it…
‘Things have to come to an end, see. That’s how it works when you turn the world into stories. You should never have done that. You shouldn’t treat people like they was characters, like they was things. But if you do, then you’ve got to know where the story ends.’ It seemed an easy job… After all, how difficult could it be to make sure that a servant girl doesn’t marry a prince? Quite hard, actually, even for the witches Granny Weatherwax, Nanny Ogg and Magrat Garlick. That’s the problem with real life – it tends to get in the way of a good story, and a good story is hard to resist. Servant girls have to marry the prince. That’s what life is all about. You can’t fight a Happy Ending, especially when it comes with glass slippers and a Fairy Godmother who has made Destiny an offer it can’t refuse.
‘Don’t put your trust in revolutions. They always come round again. That’s why they’re called revolutions. People die, and nothing changes.’ For a policeman, there can be few things worse than a serial killer loose in your city. Except, perhaps, a serial killer who targets coppers, and a city on the brink of bloody revolution. For Commander Sam Vimes, it all feels horribly familiar. He’s back in his own rough, tough past without even the clothes he was standing up in when the lightning struck. Living in the past is hard. But he must survive, because he has a job to do. He must track down the murderer and change the outcome of the rebellion. The problem is: if he wins, he’s got no wife, no child, no future… A Discworld Tale of One City, with a full chorus of street urchins, ladies of negotiable affection, rebels, secret policemen and other children of the revolution. Truth! Justice! Freedom! And a Hard-boiled Egg!
‘Some people would be asking: whose side are you on? If you’re not for us, you’re against us. Huh. If you’re not an apple, you’re a banana’. Koom Valley, the ancient battle where the trolls ambushed the dwarfs, or the dwarfs ambushed the trolls, was a long time ago. But if he doesn’t solve the murder of just one dwarf, Commander Sam Vimes of Ankh-Morpork City Watch is going to see it fought again, right outside his office. With his beloved Watch crumbling around him and war-drums sounding, he must unravel every clue, outwit every assassin and brave any darkness to find the solution. And darkness is following him. Oh . . . and at six o’clock every day, without fail, with no excuses, he must go home to read ‘Where’s My Cow?’, with all the right farmyard noises, to his little boy. There are some things you have to do.
Nine-year-old Tiffany Aching thinks her Granny Aching – a wise shepherd – might have been a witch, but now Granny Aching is dead and it’s up to Tiffany to work it all out when strange things begin happening: a fairy-tale monster in the stream, a headless horseman and, strangest of all, the tiny blue men in kilts, the Wee Free Men, who have come looking for the new ‘hag’. These are the Nac Mac Feegles, the pictsies, who like nothing better than thievin’, fightin’ and drinkin’. Then Tiffany’s young brother goes missing and Tiffany and the Wee Free Men must join forces to save him from the Queen of the Fairies . . . THE FIRST BOOK IN THE TIFFANY ACHING SEQUENCE
It’s no more than a breath away… Everyone needs a place to relax after a long day, after all. So here is the place where the Grim Reaper can kick back and take the load off his scythe. Here’s the golf course that’s not so much crazy as insane, and the useless maze, and the dark gardens – all brought (incongruously) to life. And here, for the first time ever, you will find out the reason why Death can’t understand rockeries, and what hapens to garden gnomes. As Death rides Binky into the sunset (of other people’s lives), you can at last see what he gets up to when he’s not at work.
Nanny Ogg, one of Discworld’s most famous witches, is passing on some of her huge collection of tasty (and above all interesting!) recipes, since everyone else is doing it. But in addition to the delights of the Strawberry Wobbler and Nobby’s Mum’s Distressed Pudding, Mrs Ogg imparts her thoughts on life, death, etiquette (‘If you go to other people’s funerals they’ll be sure to come to yours’), courtship, children and weddings, all in a refined style that should not offend the most delicate of sensibilities. Well, not much. Most of the recipes have been tried out on people who are still alive! This book is a glorious paperback with a wealth of pencil illustrations.
A small but perfectly formed complete Discworld novel, fully illustrated in lavish colour throughout, THE LAST HERO is an essential part of any Discworld collection. It stars the legendary Cohen the Barbarian, a legend in his own lifetime. Cohen can remember when a hero didn’t have to worry about fences and lawyers and civilisation, and when people didn’t tell you off for killing dragons. But he can’t always remember, these days, where he put his teeth… So now, with his ancient sword and his new walking stick and his old friends – and they’re very old friends – Cohen the Barbarian is going on one final quest. He’s going to climb the highest mountain in the Discworld and meet his gods. The last hero in the world is going to return what the first hero stole. With a vengeance. That’ll mean the end of the world, if no one stops him in time.
‘Fabricati Diem, Pvnc’ (‘Make My Day, Punk’). We celebrate Veltrick’s motto with this fantastic sand-coloured City Watch reporter bag. This washed canvas reporter bag comes complete with an iPad™/Tablet compartment, a zippered rear pocket, a zippered mesh pocket under the flap and adjustable shoulder strap. Capacity; 5 Litres, Weight; 352g.
Size: 220 x 260 x 110mmadd to cart
‘Fabricati Diem, Pvnc’ (‘Make My Day, Punk’). We celebrate Veltrick’s motto with this quality ‘City Watch’ messenger bag. With a padded laptop compartment which will accept most laptop computers up to 15.4″ screen this brown bag comes complete with zippered pockets under front flap, antique brass effect fittings and adjustable shoulder strap with pad. Capacity 16 Litres. Every special constable should have one of these.
Size: 390 x 340 x 130mmadd to cart