Bags & Clothing

Guild Of Assassins Vintage Canvas Satchel Messenger

£35.00

Nil Mortifi Sine Lucre (No killing without payment). Wear the Assassins’ Guild crest with pride. This vintage black canvas satchel messenger bag features an adjustable shoulder strap, magnetic closures, multiple pockets including a zippered rear pocket and a padded grab handle. The perfect gift for the Assassin in your life.

Size: 370 x 290 x 90mm

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Guild of Assassins Compact Reporter Bag

£20.00

Nil Mortifi Sine Lucre (No killing without payment). The Guild of Assassins certainly know their stuff and you can now wear their crest with pride on a range of products. Complete with an internal organiser section, adjustable shoulder strap, antique brass effect fittings and zippered rear pocket. Capacity 5 Litres.

Size: 220 x 260 x 110mm

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Ankh-Morpork City Watch Compact Reporter Bag

£20.00

‘Fabricati Diem, Pvnc’ (‘Make My Day, Punk’). We celebrate Veltrick’s motto with this fantastic sand-coloured City Watch reporter bag. This washed canvas reporter bag comes complete with an iPad™/Tablet compartment, a zippered rear pocket, a zippered mesh pocket under the flap and adjustable shoulder strap. Capacity; 5 Litres, Weight; 352g.

Size: 220 x 260 x 110mm

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Ankh-Morpork City Watch Vintage Canvas Satchel Messenger Bag

£35.00

‘Fabricati Diem, Pvnc’ (‘Make My Day, Punk’). We celebrate Veltrick’s motto with this quality ‘City Watch’ messenger bag. With a padded laptop compartment which will accept most laptop computers up to 15.4″ screen this brown bag comes complete with zippered pockets under front flap, antique brass effect fittings and adjustable shoulder strap with pad. Capacity 16 Litres. Every special constable should have one of these.

Size: 390 x 340 x 130mm

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Unseen University Scarf

£45.00

100% saxony wool – these scarves measure 10″ x 72″ and are striped in navy, crimson, yellow and purple. The UU crest is embroidered in colour at one end. Made in the UK by the leading Oxbridge scarf maker.

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Unseen University T-shirt

£18.00 – £20.00

“Unseen University, home of the greatest wizards on the Discworld. And one or two of the worst.” Unseen University is the premiere school of wizardry in Ankh-Morpork, founded in the year 1282 AM (1 UC) by Alberto Malich the Wise.

 

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Anthill Inside T-shirt

£18.00 - £22.00

“On its outer surface Hex has a sticker saying ‘Anthill Inside’. No one knows why it is there, but it turned up one day.” We can only guess at the reason for the sticker’s mysterious appearance on Hex at the Unseen University. But one may presume that the millions of ants released into the complex network of glass tubes that make up the bulk of this mighty Discworld computer have something to do with it…

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Give a Man a Fire T-shirt

£20.00

‘Give a man a fire and he’s warm for a day but set fire to him and he’s warm for the rest of his life.’ Terry’s astute play on the old saying “give a man a fish and you’ve fed him for a day; teach a man to fish and you’ve fed him for the rest of his life.”

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The Guild Of Seamstresses ‘Often Licked, Never Beaten’ T-shirt

£18.00

‘Often Licked, Never Beaten.’ The Guild of Seamstresses, some of Ankh-Morpork’s most interesting and much speculated upon characters. With a slogan like ‘NIL VOLVPTI, SINE LVCRE’ (No pleasure without pay) one must wonder about their ‘noble’ profession? But you’ll love these flattering t-shirts, why not treat yourself and bring out your inner Seamstress?

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The Guild Of Seamstresses ‘Always Happy to Lend a Hand’ T-shirt

£18.00

‘Always Happy to Lend a Hand.’ The Guild of Seamstresses, some of Ankh-Morpork’s most interesting and much speculated upon characters. With a slogan like ‘NIL VOLVPTI, SINE LVCRE’ (No pleasure without pay) one must wonder about their ‘noble’ profession? But you’ll love these flattering t-shirts, why not treat yourself and bring out your inner Seamstress?

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The Guild Of Seamstresses ‘Where the Customer Comes First’ T-shirt

£18.00

‘Always Happy to Lend a Hand’. The Guild of Seamstresses, some of Ankh-Morpork’s most interesting and much speculated upon characters. With a slogan like ‘NIL VOLVPTI, SINE LVCRE’ (No pleasure without pay) one must wonder about their ‘noble’ profession? But you’ll love these flattering t-shirts, why not treat yourself and bring out your inner Seamstress?

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Small - 5XL

Feeglespotting T-Shirt T-shirt

£20.00 - £22.00

Size: Small - 5XL

The perennial favourite, a Discworld twist on Trainspotting, the 1996 British comedy drama. This image features Daft Wullie, Fion, Rob Anybody, Hamish and the wonderfully-named Not-As-Big-As-Medium-Jock-But-Bigger-Than-Wee-Jock-Jock.  Screen printed on a white Gildan Ultra Cotton T-Shirt.

The Feegles didn’t know the meaning of the word ‘fear’. Sometimes Tiffany wished they’d read a dictionary. They fought like tigers, they fought like demons, they fought like giants. What they didn’t do was fight like something with more than a spoonful of brain.

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Available in sizes S - 5XL

Anthill Inside Hoodie

£28.00-£30.00

“On its outer surface Hex has a sticker saying ‘Anthill Inside’. No one knows why it is there, but it turned up one day.”

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Unseen University Hoodie

£28.00-£30.00

Unseen University is the premiere school of wizardry in Ankh-Morpork, founded in the year 1282 AM (1 UC) by Alberto Malich the Wise. Located in the city of Ankh-Morpork, the UU is staffed by a faculty of fascinating characters, and you can show your allegiance now with this classic hoodie.

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Fabricati Diem T-shirt

£20.00 – £22.00

This high quality Gildan t-shirt is screen printed with a design by Discworld artist Paul Kidby, illustrating one of the most famous scenes from Guards, Guards!

Captain Vimes limped forward from the shadows.

A small and extremely frightened golden dragon was clamped firmly under one arm. His other hand held it by the tail.

The rioters watched it, hypnotised.

“Now I know what you’re thinking,” Vimes went on, softly. “You’re wondering, after all this excitement, has it got enough flame left? And, y’know, I ain’t so sure myself…”

He leaned forward, sighting between the dragon’s ears, and his voice buzzed like a knife blade:

“What you’ve got to ask yourself is: Am I feeling lucky?”

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A Frenzy of Feegles T-shirt

£20.00 – £22.00

This high quality Gildan t-shirt is screen printed with a design by Discworld artist Paul Kidby, showing nine of the most well-known members of clan Nac Mac Feegle.

“They were all about six inches tall and mostly coloured blue, although it was hard to know if that was the actual colour of their skins or just the dye from their tattoos, which covered every inch that wasn’t covered with red hair. They wore short kilts, and some wore other bits of clothing too, like skinny vests. A few of them wore rabbit or rat skulls on their heads, as a sort of helmet. And every single one of them carried, slung across his back, a sword nearly as big as he was.”

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Death With Stray Cats T-shirt

£20.00 – £22.00

This high quality black Gildan t-shirt is screen printed, with a design by Discworld artist Paul Kidby, showing Death with his favourite animals.

‘What is there in this world that makes living worth while?’

Death thought about it.

CATS, he said eventually, CATS ARE NICE.

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Unseen University Tote Bag

£8.00

Featuring the crest of Unseen University emblazoned on a maroon tote bag, show off your affiliation to the oldest institution on the disc.

‘Many things went on at Unseen University and, regrettably, teaching had to be one of them. The faculty had long ago confronted this fact and had perfected various devices for avoiding it. But this was perfectly all right because, to be fair, so had the students.’

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Death Tote Bag

£8.00

A brand new tote, featuring Paper Panda’s popular Death design.

‘Death opened the box and took out the kitten. It stared at him with the normal mad amazement of kittens everywhere.

I DON’T HOLD WITH CRUELTY TO CATS, said Death, putting it gently on the floor.’

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Dark Side of the Turtle T-shirt

£20.00 – £22.00

In the spirit of Soul Music, this stunning black t-shirt pays homage to a certain icon of Roundworld music, whilst giving it a distinctly chelonium spin.

Printed digitally on ringspun Gildan t-shirts,

“Through the fathomless deeps of space swims the star turtle Great A’Tuin…”

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Unseen University Crest T-shirt

£18.00 – £22.00

A grey marl t-shirt featuring the crest of Unseen University emblazoned on the chest, including the UU motto – NVNC ID VIDES, NVNC NE VIDES – Now You See It, Now You Don’t.

“The aim was to force some sort of regulation on wizardry, which at that time was quite chaotic, and to permit the existence of an institution that would allow one wizard to meet another without immediately endeavouring to blow his head off with magical fire, as was then the case.”

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Unseen University Crest Hoodie

£28-£30

This grey marl hoodie features the crest and motto of Ankh-Morpork’s Unseen University.

‘Can’t have a bunch of grocers and butchers telling a university how to run itself, Stibbons!’ Ridcully said firmly. ‘Thank them for their interest and tell them we’ll continue to take one hundred per cent of complete and utter dullards, as usual. Take ‘em in dull, turn ‘em out sparklin’, that’s always been the UU way!’

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Rincewind Running – Black Long Sleeved & Ladies’ Fit

£15.00 £10.00

Here he goes again – running away from a horde of pursuers! Poor Rincewind the Wizzard spends just about all of his time running away from various bands of people who want to kill him for various reasons. So join in celebrating his resolve to run, just think of it as the ideal exercise t-shirt!

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Anthill Inside Ladies’ Fit

£18.00

“On its outer surface Hex has a sticker saying ‘Anthill Inside’. No one knows why it is there, but it turned up one day.” We can only guess at the reason for the sticker’s mysterious appearance on Hex at the Unseen University. But one may presume that the millions of ants released into the complex network of glass tubes that make up the bulk of this mighty Discworld computer have something to do with it…

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The Turtle Moves T-shirt

£18.00 – £22.00

De Chelonian Mobile! Show those non-believers exactly what you think with our navy blue, 100% cotton ‘The Turtle Moves‘ T-Shirt.

“De Chelonian Mobile,” he said aloud. “‘The Turtle Moves.’ What does that mean?”
“Even telling you could put your soul at risk of a thousand years in hell,” said Vorbis.

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Death on Binky T-shirt

£20.00 – £22.00

This digitally printed 100% cotton premium Gildan T-shirt pictures Death on Binky, his trusty steed.

“Death’s pale horse’s name was Binky He was a real horse. Death had tried fiery steeds and skeletal horses in the past, and found them impractical, especially the fiery ones, which tended to set light to their own bedding and stand in the middle of it looking embarrassed.” 

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City Watch Socks

£6.50

Now available in 2 size options!

Sprinting – or shall we say ‘proceeding’ – down a cobbled Ankh-Morpork street takes it’s toll after a while.

Treat your toes to some sensible footwear – your regulation boots may be made of cardboard but there’s no reason to scrimp on the socks!

  • One pair of khaki green socks with the crest and motto of the Ankh-Morpork City Watch in burnt orange
  • Officially licensed Discworld® merchandise
  • The perfect Hogswatch gift
  • Materials: 75% Cotton, 23% Nylon, 2% Elastane
  • UK Sizes 4 – 7 or 7 – 11
  • Certainly better quality than the standard-issue City Watch uniform socks…

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